Past trauma has a way of sneaking into aspects of your current life. Your life can be as still as a calm lake, and then without warning a stone is thrown in, and your trauma of a past relationship begins to ripple out and cause an aftershock. While it’s natural to feel like your trauma is the controlling force in your life, you have the potential to overcome the shadow your past relationship is casting over you.
By taking a proactive approach to your trauma, you can transform it from a debilitating force to steppingstone for growth. Today we’re going to discuss some strategies you can use to heal from the trauma of a past relationship.
3 Ways to Get Over Past Relationship Trauma
1. Start by Talking It Out
Past relationship trauma is great at convincing you it needs to be hidden, but letting down your guard and talking about it is an essential step in the healing process. A good place to start is finding a counselor or therapist to share your feelings with. Mental health professionals have experience helping people overcome trauma and can offer unique insight into what you’re going through.
When you’re talking with a therapist, there will be times when you feel like shutting down. It’s important to remember that when conversations about your past trauma get tough, do your best to stick with it. The act of avoiding conversations about your past relationship trauma can drive distance between you and other people. Your therapist will be able to help you push past those fight or flight moments, so you’ll be prepared if the topic of your trauma comes up in your everyday life.
2. Work on Building Your Self-Compassion
There’s an old saying that states we’re all our own worst critics, and past relationship trauma often stoke the flames of that feeling. The act of working on your self-compassion and self-love is a great healing tool to help you move forward. When you’re working through past trauma, your mind might try to convince you that you were in some way to blame. This thought doesn’t bear any real weight, and refuting it is a good first step in building your self-compassion.
The good news is that self-compassion is a skill you can learn and master with practice. Here are a few easy ways you can work self-compassion into your daily routine:
- Text yourself a compliment at the start of each day
- Set aside some time each week to express gratitude for positive forces in your life
- Work on accepting that you’re not perfect, and forgive yourself for any mistakes
3. Let Go of the “Perfection” Mindset
After you experience past relationship trauma, it’s normal to overcorrect and set high standards for future relationships. Part of getting over past relationship trauma means letting go of the idea of perfection. The fear of being hurt again in a relationship can undermine future connections by encouraging you to adopt unreasonable expectations. No person or relationship is going to be perfect, but this fact is an opportunity to practice your forgiveness.
There will be times in your other relationships where the person messes up. However, it’s important to not let this eventuality stop you from forging meaningful connections. Remind yourself that a relationship does not need to be perfect to be healthy. Plus, being in a healthy relationship can help you get past your previous relationship trauma.
If your past relationship trauma feels like too much handle after trying some of the tips we’ve shared above, know there is professional support ready to help.
Heal from Your Past Trauma at Fountain Hills Recovery
As the premier mental health treatment center in Arizona, Fountain Hills Recovery knows that events in a past relationship can rob you of happiness and fill your life with anxiety. Our expert team knows you have the potential to reach lasting recovery. Our trauma recovery center got started by helping first responders overcome the trauma and stress they faced every day. With our team’s help, you can learn how to move past these obstacles and reclaim your life. Contact our admissions team today to begin the healing process .